Story #2 Why The Grey Matter Hacks Your Life Creations

September 25, 2022

It takes courage for me to share this delicate experience, but its relevance has such an enormous impact on our life creations, which is why I promised myself to write about it. With the knowledge in this story, you will hopefully be able to identify the symptoms, when you get hacked and learn useful tools, how to connect with your truth again. 

The “Grey Matter” is also known as the Anti-Life-Principle. It’s a virus, installed in us to hack and sabotage our human evolution. It’s existence in form of a painting (see photo) is captured inside the Temples of Humankind created by the people of Damanhur nearby Turin, Italy. If you want to dive deeper into their spiritual work, I highly recommend you to go see it with your own eyes one day (www.damanhur.org).

In my own words, I would describe the Grey Matter as a presence or energetic frequency, who literally hacks your psyche in the form of subtle thoughts, with the purpose to sabotage your life creations. It is inevitable to get in touch with it in the course of your life. Indeed, it is part of our soul mission to master it, both individually and collectively, in order to bring human evolution forward.

Grey Matter

Photo: Grey Matter inside the Hall of Earth. Photograph by Niccolò Guasti. From The Book Temples of Humankind – Rock, Art and Light

In the following I will share with you my story on how I made contact with this presence:

It was a clear and sunny day, when my three friends and I were driving up to the point, where we were about to start our mountain hike that morning. Exactly one day before we visited the beautiful Temples of Damanhur, where I faced the Grey Matter in the form of a painting for the first time. On the morning of our hike, however, I felt a bit stomach sick and I informed my friends that I preferred hiking by myself for the first half of our day-hike. I felt that there was something uncomfortable for me to face, and that hiking alone would make it easier.

The more I was hiking up the mountain, the more I sensed the presence of the Grey Matter. I asked “What‘s the matter, Grey Matter?“ and almost giggled, how absurd this must sound and look, if someone would be watching me right now. Suddenly the energy shifted and I noticed a deep sadness inside me. “WTF, who‘s sadness is this?“ I asked. „This is the sadness of humans not realizing their desired life creations, because they are being sabotaged by me“ it giggled back.

For a moment, I was speechless but continued hiking to keep my pace. When looking into the sky, I surprisingly noticed that the weather had changed, grey clouds blocked the beautiful view and covered the peaks of the mountainous scenery. “This must be a joke“ I said out loud and continued „How can you be so mean and find pleasure in this?“ The Grey Matter remained silent this time…

The presence was still with me, less inside me now but rather next to me. Even though this situation felt uncomfortable, it was not the right moment yet to return to my friends. I continued to hike in silence, yet not alone. And somehow it felt that with each step, I began to understand better how the Grey Matter is operating…

“Leonie!“ my friend Eleanor shouted from a distance. I turned around on my heel and saw my friends on a plateau roughly 200 meters below me. “You are on the wrong track, we have to go here”. She pointed to another track opposite me, where I was standing.

“Fuck“ I whispered, noticing a rush of anger running through my veins. Obviously I got so caught up with this spooky dialogue, that I am unable to stay on track, and rolled my eyes annoyed about myself.

„How about I cross horizontally and meet you on the right track?“ I shouted back. Out of nowhere, I had the fast idea, that I could cross horizontally, without having to go down. My inner masculine got instantly activated, like a gorilla beating its chest. Pumped up, I was ready to take risks and compete (with myself) in this seemingly non-competitive situation.

Eleanor: „I think it‘s better you come back down here, but you decide…“

Looking at the unknown terrain separating me from my friends, there was obviously no path, in fact it was steep, rocky and rough. In this moment my inner feminine kicked in with a more caring thought saying “Be careful, Leonie. Just go down the track you came and meet your friends. Besides, you are planning to do a 3-week pilgrimage after this, so why would you be so silly to bring yourself in danger?”

Suddenly it hit me, like a punch in my face. “FUCK, here it is again!” I screamed silently inside myself. In an instant I knew the Grey Matter had sneaked itself inside me again. The moment I didn’t look or I got fired up in my mind, it hacked me. This time in the form of risky thoughts to bring me in danger and eventually ruining my whole 3-week hiking holiday ahead of me. Almost like a virus, it took advantage of my own qualities, in this case my adventurous side, and tried to direct my thoughts in a way that would make me hurt myself, e.g. by twisting my ankle while crossing the steep, rocky and rough terrain. I really must watch it more carefully, I reminded myself.

Finally, my clarity came back to me and I surrendered to the most reasonable option of hiking back down to the lower plateau, where my friends were waiting for me. When I reached them, they noticed that I was shaking and looking pale. Of course, they knew something was going on. We decided to take a spontaneous lunch break and they invited me to share…

“Guys, you remember the painting of the Grey Matter from the temples yesterday? I asked, they nodded and I continued “I now understand how it operates. Here you get it in a nutshell..”

The purpose of the Grey Matter is to sabotage or destroy our life creations. It keeps you limited in two toxic ways. In one way it prevents you from going for the experiences you long for, you don’t dare to try any more or simply give up. In the other way, it enhances your drive to go for your desired experiences so badly, it ends up in a mess or chaos. You could say, it is designed to put obstacles in your way for you not to succeed!

It operates like a virus hacking your system in the form of subtle thoughts or so called grey thoughts. It is so sneaky and fast, that you often don‘t even notice it. A common way for it to operate inside you is to use your own qualities against you.

For example, when you are a risktaker, it will enhance this quality to the point that you become too fast, take irresponsible decisions that put you and possibly others in danger. Whatever you do, you’ll definitely regret it! On the other hand, when you are careful, it will enhance that quality to the point that you feel hesitant, fearful or a loss of confidence. In the second case, you regret that you never took the decision for an action bringing you closer towards your desired life creations.

Typical symptoms of being hacked by the Grey Matter are Negativity, Procrastination, Self-Doubt, Hesitations, Pessimism, Over-Motivation etc.

My friends listened carefully. It turned out that each one of them could relate to this presence and found examples in their own lives, when they felt negatively influenced by this presence. In a way, it shocked all of us, that an invisible presence like this even exists and can make such an impact on human beings. I felt relieved to be united with my friends again. The fact that I could share openly with them, helped me to calm down and feel safe again. “I am so grateful for my friends” I was whispering and realized the emotion of gratitude arising in me. Simultaneously, I realized that sharing with them openly and feeling gratitude for what I have, are already two tools that can help shift from grey towards supportive thoughts again!

The sharing during our lunch break had moved something in all of us, nevertheless we decided to continue our day hike. At this point, the weather seemed in transition, grey and foggy, yet undecided what it would change to. The fog was so low and close to us, that we could only see up to ten meters in front of us. Nevertheless, when we looked up high, we  sometimes caught a glimpse of sunlight coming through the clouds…

We hiked another steep 800 meter up, which took us around 1,5 hours. The fog had gotten worse and we could only see two meters ahead of us by now. This required a lot of focus, making sure we placed our feet safely. At one point, we stopped, drank water from our bottles and found ourselves in a doubtful discussion. Questions in our group arose such as “How about we skip the mountain peak and descend now to return back home?” or “We cannot see anything, so there will probably be no sun anyway, even if we reach the top?”

Luckily, this time Jakob caught us in our grey thoughts, this time camouflaged as hesitant and doubtful thoughts, and convinced us in a cheerful way: “Guys, this is the same spiral of thoughts that clouded us over lunch. Remember, choose the supportive thoughts that will allow us to reach to the top. Besides, the grey weather is just a mirror of your own grey thoughts. The only thing you need to do is to stay on track.”

Without saying a word, we all knew that he was right at this moment. The sharing during our lunch had moved something in all of us. In a way, it felt as if we were now being tested as a group: Would we choose the supportive thoughts over the sabotaging thoughts desperately offered to us by the Grey Matter?

That day we managed to reach the mountain peak. A sunny sky with only a few small clouds awaited us. “Look, the weather is a symbol of winning over the Grey Matter today!” I cheered. My friends nodded with a relief and we exchanged hugs to congratulate each other, finally enjoying the well-deserved view from the top!

Congratulations, also to you, if you have read until and reached the mountain peak. You just empowered yourself to be on top of your mind, now having the awareness to catch yourself more easily, when grey thoughts hack your mind.

Of course, I will not miss the opportunity to share some useful tools with you, that can support you to connect with your truth or positivity again, in case you get hacked. The good news is you can free yourself from these grey thoughts camouflaged in different flavours influenced by the Grey Matter, by connecting with the opposite frequency. As you can see from  my story, it was super helpful to connect with gratitude through a dialogue with my friends. Further tools can be finding joy, humor, optimism, creativity or meditation. This will help you find supportive thoughts and create what you desire in your work and personal life.

As a general rule, when you want to catch your grey thoughts, I advise you to slow down. First, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply several times. This creates space between you and your thoughts. After this break, you can look at them again, however, this time you look at the quality of these thoughts. This normally gives you the clarity on which thoughts are supportive and which are destructive. Then choose again, this time the thought that supports your life creation 🙂  

Connect with your inner world through the following questions

  • Aren’t you relieved to know that there is nothing wrong with you, but that a certain presence is responsible for your grey thoughts?
  • When was the last time you felt like you got hacked? What were the qualities of your thoughts? Symptoms can be Procrastination, Negativity, Self-Doubt, Over-Motivation etc.
  • When was the last time you felt like you did follow your supportive thoughts, which brought you towards your desired life creation? How did this experience make you feel?